dead space (*)

Posted on December 2nd, 2008

HILARIOUS ALT TEXT a review of
dead space
a videogame published by electronic arts
released in november 2008 for the microsoft xbox 360 and the sony playstation 3 computer entertainment systems
score: (out of four)

Bottom line: Dead Space is “A gamefuneral”.

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gears of war 2 (****)

Posted on November 20th, 2008

yes, the '2' was airbrushed in a review of
gears of war 2
a videogame developed by epic (mega)games
and published by microsoft game studios
text by tim rogers
score: (out of four)

Bottom line: Gears of War 2 is “Videogames: The Videogame”.

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castlevania: order of ecclesia (***)

Posted on November 20th, 2008

HILARIOUS ALT TEXT a review of
castlevania: order of ecclesia
a videogame developed by konami
and published by konami
text by ario barzan
score: (out of four)

Bottom line: Castlevania: Order of Ecclesia is “finally getting it”.

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tomb raider underworld (**1/2)

Posted on November 20th, 2008

HILARIOUS ALT TEXT
a review of tomb raider underworld
a videogame published by eidos
for the sony playstation 3 computer entertainment system and the microsoft xbox 360
score: 1/2 (out of four)

Bottom Line: Tomb Raider: Underworld is “porno for people who have never climbed a mountain“.
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castlevania: portrait of ruin (*1/2)

Posted on November 20th, 2008

HILARIOUS ALT TEXT a review of
castlevania: portrait of ruin
a videogame developed by konami
and published by konami
text by ario barzan
score: 1/2 (out of four)

Bottom line: Castlevania: Portrait of Ruin is “as engaging as those kitschy little stories about a TEENAGER’S STRUGGLE TO SURVIVE you find in a Reader’s Digest”.

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fable ii (***)

Posted on November 11th, 2008

HILARIOUS ALT TEXT a review of
fable ii
a videogame developed by lionhead studios
and published by microsoft game studios
text by tim rogers
score: (out of four)

Bottom line: Fable II is “alarmingly not terrible”.

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ninja gaiden ii (***)

Posted on October 24th, 2008

HILARIOUS ALT TEXT a review of
ninja gaiden ii
a videogame developed by team ninja
and published by tecmo
text by tim rogers
score: (out of four)

Bottom line: Ninja Gaiden II is “a weak dog barking all night long”.

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devil may cry 4 (**)

Posted on October 24th, 2008

HILARIOUS ALT TEXT a review of
devil may cry 4
a videogame by Capcom
published by Capcom
text by ario barzan
score: (out of four)

Bottom Line: Devil May Cry 4 is “fuck . . . yeah?”

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Soul Calibur 4 (*)

Posted on October 24th, 2008

yes, have some a review of
Soul Calibur 4
a videogame by Namco
published by Namco
text by Remy Cote D’ivoire
score: (out of four)

Bottom Line: Soul Calibur 4 is “En quoi votre âme est-elle forgée?”
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inazuma eleven (***1/2)

Posted on October 22nd, 2008

HILARIOUS ALT TEXT a review of
inazuma eleven
a videogame developed and published by level5
text by tim rogers
score: 1/2 (out of four)

Bottom line: Inazuma Eleven is “the most spectacular ‘A for effort’ in years”.

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